The Y'all might or might not have heard...

Discussion in 'Jokes and Funny Things' started by Uncle Russ, Dec 20, 2006.

  1. Uncle Russ

    Uncle Russ Senior Member

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    ...that a few years back, a Rabbi, a Hindu holy man and a lawyer showed up at a farmer's back door in rural east Texas. The farmer only had room for two of them in the house and told them that one would have to sleep in the barn.

    The Rabbi said he would take the barn, but about an hour later, there was a knock on the door. There stood the Rabbi, and he told the farmer: "There is a pig out there, and my religion forbids me to be around pigs." So the Hindu holy man said he would go out there, and he did.

    But about another hour later, here came the Hindu holy man and he said there was a cow out there and he couldn't sleep in the same barn with cows. So the lawyer volunteered to take the barn and he grabbed his pillow and went on out there.

    Then about 5 minutes later, there was a knock on the door and there stood the cow and the pig.

    Russ

    (UT School of Law, 1976)
     
  2. Bret

    Bret Senior Member

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    Thats a good one.
     

  3. Jason_L

    Jason_L Guest

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    One to go with this one...

    A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the saying, "You can't take it with you."
    After much thought and consideration, the man finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died. He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillow cases.

    He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. His plan: When he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven.

    Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer's wife, up in the attic cleaning, came upon the two pillow cases stuffed with cash.

    "Oh, that darned old fool," she exclaimed. "I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement."
     
  4. Snagged

    Snagged Senior Member

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    Lawyer Story

    The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the
    city's most successful lawyer. So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office.

    The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, "Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your
    community through the United Way ?"

    The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, "First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?"

    Embarrassed, the Unit ed Way rep mumbles, "Uh... no, I didn't know that."

    "Secondly," says the lawyer, "my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and
    confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children."

    The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again.

    "Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three
    children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities requiring a huge array of private tutors?"

    The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, "I'm so sorry, I had no idea."

    And the lawyer says, "So...if I didn't give any money to them, what makes
    you think I'd give any to you