Discussion in 'Jokes and Funny Things' started by Snagged, Apr 28, 2008.

  1. Snagged

    Snagged Senior Member


    BOSTON – Police and National Guard units seeking to confiscate a
    cache of recently banned assault weapons were ambushed Sunday be
    elements of a para-military right wing extremist faction.

    Military and law enforcement sources estimate that 72 were killed and
    more than 200 injured before government forces were compelled to
    withdraw. Speaking after the clash, Massachusetts Governor Thomas
    Gage declared that the extremist militia faction has citizens who
    have links to the radical right wing tax protest movement. Gage
    blamed the militia for recent incidents of vandalism directed against
    internal revenue offices.

    The governor who described the group's organizers as "terrorists",
    issued an executive order authorizing the summary arrest of any
    individual who has interfered with the governments efforts to secure
    law and order. The law enforcement team augmented by elements of the
    National Guard, were sent to raid a militia arsenal after widespread
    refusal of right wing extremists to turn over recently outlawed
    assault weapons. This decision followed a meeting in early July
    between government and law enforcement which authorized the
    confiscation of the illegal arms, known as the weapons of choice
    among criminals and militias.

    One government official, speaking on condition of anonymity, pointed
    out "that none of these people would have been killed had right wing
    extremist obeyed the law and turned over the weapons voluntarily".

    Police and government forces initially succeeded in confiscating a
    large supply of outlawed weapons and ammunition. However, troops
    attempting to seize arms and ammunition in Lexington met with
    resistance from heavily armed militia extremist who had been tipped
    off regarding the government's plans.

    During a tense stand-off in Lexington's town park, National Guard
    Colonel Francis Smith, commander of the government operation, ordered
    the armed group to surrender and return to their homes. The impasse
    was broken by a single shot, which was reportedly fired by one of the
    right wing extremist. Eight civilians were killed in the ensuing

    Ironically, the local citizens blamed the government forces rather
    than the extremists for the civilian deaths. Before order could be
    restored, heavily armed militia groups from surrounding areas had
    descended upon the police and guard units. Colonel Smith finding his
    forces over matched by militia mobs, ordered a retreat.

    Governor Gage has called upon citizens to support the state/national
    joint task force in its effort to restore law and order. The governor
    has also demanded the surrender of those responsible for planning and
    leading the attack against the government. Samuel Adams, Paul Revere,
    and John Hancock, who have been identified as ":ringleaders" of the
    extremist militia faction remain at large.

    ( The American Revolution begins, as reported by Associated Press)
    (Compiled by Charles Norton and New American Magazine.)