7/22/06 Fishing Report offshore Port A: I only got one hour sleep last night due to excitement and broken ribs from 10 days ago. Broke the jetties about 5:45 with one of my fishing friends who is an oral surgeon. He meet me at the ramp he could hardly walk as he had a bad case of gout on both of his feet. On our way to ant hill, we hit a shrimper about 24 miles out who was culling his haul. He waves us over a wants to trade. 2 cases of beer got us a 3/4 full plastic onion sack of fresh shrimp. I guessing about 30 pounds of mixed sized shrimp. I spotted a large cow dolphin during the exchange and tossed out a free lining bally. Instant hookup. After the aerial fight as the cow was about to be gaffed, we noticed a big bull following the cow. I let up the pressure on the cow so my buddy could rig up another bally for the bull. Wham, the bull is on. The day is off to a good start as we boated a cow and bull in the 30 pound range. We had drifted about a 1/4 mile from the shrimp boat and decided to hit it one more time before running again. The kings were now all over the place. We put 4 kings in the box within fifteen minutes. We used top water cordell pencil poppers with Calcutta 400's on the 12 to 15 lb kings. Our original plan was to hit a shrimp boat early so I pre-rigged the poppers while we were in the harbor. Nice to limit out early on the kings as both of us don't get real excited about kingfishig anymore. Off we go running toward ant hill. About a half hour later we notice a pair of shrimpers on the horizon. My buddy wanted more shrimp so we strike a deal with another case of beer. This time we get a 5 gallon bucket full of super jumbos. Kings were thick as flies. He had never used a butterfly jig before, so I rigged up two 150 grams with Cortland toothy critter wire on the Calcutta 400's. That was fun as the jig was hit on the drop every time. We released about 8 kings and took off. We finally get to ant hill about 9am. Two boats are working the area. I got on the radio and found out that both the boats already had three hoo's in the box. I put braidrunners on the flat lines and chrome bullet jets on the riggers. My ribs were starting to hurt and my buddy's feet were swelling as we trolled. By noon we had boated 4 hoo's in the twenty pound range. I forgot to mention that my buddy's only chore was bring food for the both of us and whatever he wanted to drink. What a bad shopper. No bread, no chips, no sandwich meats, just 12 cans of Vienna Sausages packed in barbecue sauce. Have you ever tried to pull one of little suckers out of the can with your fingers? It's impossible not to smash the others getting that center one out. We both got bad heartburn from that barbecue sauce. I noticed on the map that we were only about 19 miles from (Eileen) buoy 42020. We bring in the lines, riggers and off to Eileen. About a mile from Eileen I noticed a lot of bait breaking the surface so out come five 50W tiagras. We had 4 line outs with ballys and I was putting the shotgun out when a sail swallows the bally. My friend had never caught a sail in the gulf so I gave him the rod as I cleared out the other 4 lines. Not exactly sporty catching a 40 lb sail on a 50W. We get him to the boat and he wants a picture before we release him. Neither one of us brought a camera. We start putting the flat lines out immediately and I feel another fish take the bally. Set the hook and another sail. I've caught a bunch of Gulf sails and my ribs were really killing me so I let my friend bring in his second. I couldn't stop laughing because he had rigged ice and bait towels with duct tape on both his feet. He was really in pain and could barely stand up so I helped him into the chair. Those Vienna Sausages and beer aren't exactly good for the gout. This one put up a better fight but would have been more fun on lighter tackle. It was bigger, about 55 lbs. I put on the gloves and can't bend over to reach the bill because of my rib problem. I dropped to my knees and grabbed the bill with my left hand and had the hookouts in my right. He was green and mad. He jammed me and my ribs into the gunnel. That's probably the loudest scream the gulf has ever heard. After one more try I got the hook out and laid down on the deck. I purchased a Satellite phone this spring and had only used it two times. My buddy picks me up and inspects my ribs. He is a mouth doctor. He cuts on gums and things in the mouth. He's worried that I have punctured my right lung. He pulls out the Satellite phone to call up one of his doctor friends for advice. He keeps poking me here and there while on the phone. After breathing in and out and him pushing here and there they decide my lung hasn't been punctured. That's good news. Bad news was minutes away. He gets out the duct tape and wraps me like a mummy from my belly to up under my armpits. That really helped. I turn around to get to the steering wheel so we run a little to get some wind. I was sweating like a pig because of the pain and lack of wind. As I turned around I hit the Satellite phone that was sitting on the gunnel and it was history. It now resides in 270' of water. That hurt. I think I paid a couple of grand for it and 500 minutes of air time. The good doctor decides it's time to break out the rum since we had now run out of beer. So there we are cruising around Eileen at 20 knots getting some wind with a rum and coke in hand. The funny thing was that someone had placed two bras on Eileen. We couldn't stop laughing because we knew someone was having a lot better time then us. The bait was still breaking the surface and we didn't even have a line out. I had plenty of lures on hand but neither one of us felt we handle a good fish. I had emptied out the bait cooler of ballys into the fish box and placed my friends feet in it with ice. What a site we must have been for Eileen. Mummy man and football feet were just drinking and catching air for 30 minutes. My wife had threatened me to be back at the house by 7pm because she had two girlfriends down for the weekend. She had made reservations at some highjacker restaurant at 8pm. We figure were about 3 hours away from the jetties and start heading back. About 20 minutes into run we come across a weed patch that's about the size of a football field. I put in neutral while my friend refilled our 24 ounce styro cups with more Cuba's. I cut up some ballyhoo and started to chum. All of a sudden the patch came to life. Hundreds of 4 to 7 pound dolphins were now on a feeding frenzy. I pulled out my new Stella 4000 spinner, tied on a hook and started flipping them into the boat. Old football feet was having trouble walking so he was on his knees tossing my dolphin into the fishbox and mopping up all the blood. After about 10 fish I noticed the biggest ling I have ever seen come to the surface. This sucker was huge. I'm guessing 100 to 125 pounds. I'm feeling pretty good now with a rum buzz. I wanted that ling. I quickly re-rig a 50W with big feather jig. The ling didn't want it. I tie on a butterfly jig and he was very interested but still wouldn't swallow the jig. I tell football feet to look in the onion bag of shrimp for a crab. He had just rewrapped his feet more ice, towels and duct tape and I hear a big splash. Man overboard. I go over to help him back into the boat and notice the butt section of a rod in the holder. When he fell over he broke a rod below the reel seat. After I got him back into the boat I realized that he had taken out a cape fear spinning rod and a Stella 4000. I've now lost an expensive phone and a very nice rod and reel combo to the gulf. This is the first time in my life that I have left a big weed patch boiling with a frenzy. We mixed a couple more drinks, popped a zantac, put the remaining 4 cans of Vienna Sausages on the helm and headed home. When we finally got to the dock, there wasn't enough time to clean the fish so I bought 140 pounds of ice to place in the insulated fishbox. I had the good doctor remove the duct tape from my chest before returning home. My wife would have made me go to the hospital if she had seen me wrapped up. Thank God I was wearing a T-shirt. My good fishing buddy's feet really looked bad. He had taken a little drunk and his feet couldn't even fit into his flip flops. He had to put his arm around my shoulder to make it to his car. He only had about a 1/4 mile to drive. Boy, did I get screwed at this restaurant tonight. I hate it when people order bottles of wine. I hate wine. I'm a whiskey man. Wine gives me the runs. I ended up having to pay the bill for 6 people tonight. I could have bought an accurate twinspin. Man, my wallet really took a beating today. I still have to fill up the boat and clean fish in the morning. Sorry for the long report, but I'm very comfortable leaning in this recliner with the laptop on my belly. It's now past midnight and I can't sleep until my ribs heal. I just cat nap at night. I've had a little bit to drink and it's 70 degrees in this room with the ceiling fan on high. Hopefully, I'll be in better shape for next weekend as I have an another trip planned.