Caro Signore Russ,

Discussion in '360 Degrees Lounge' started by Snagged, Apr 9, 2009.

  1. Snagged

    Snagged Senior Member

    Caro Signore Russ,

    Buon giorno! Come sta? How are you?

    Signore Russ, I would appreciate it if you would just shut your mouth for one moment and reflect upon this letter. I am writing to you regarding numerous complaints we have received from the Italian-American community in Pennsylvania and from the Sicilian towns of Palermo, Porticello and Bagheria.

    It has come to our attention that your cocky, aggressive, self-centered attitude and lack of respect towards Italian-Americans has turned into a real nuisance and it should be moderated drastically! Word of your crappy behavior has even reached the ears of your fellow attorneys in Italy and they are shocked and embarrassed! In simple words, you've become a real pain in the hole and everyone is starting to get tired of it.

    Maybe you can enlighten us on your role model behavior, Signore Russ. You love mocking the Italian heritage. You must feel very important. You're entitled to Italy's gifts. When you walk into one of our museums it should donate art work to you. Italians should smother you with more free gifts of Nero D'Avolo wine because they desperately need your approval.

    For centuries, the Sicilians have always gotten along with all creeds and races of Europe and the rest of the world; especially the Americans. So, why have you alone decided to ruin years of friendship? Do you realize you are causing an international incident? You're worrying about the Italian people, their heritage and how they should conduct themselves. Oh, maybe I understand now. You're creating the perfect social environment in Philly. How do you find the time to do so when you're too busy playing with your dogs?

    Word is spreading that you're a successful Philly attorney, Signore Russ. People who spread that word should be shot! "Dio Santo", Im surprised that after all these years of watching your law practicing talents; I dont even think you have enough talent to get into your own car.

    We assume you must be expensive. Do you have special rat-bastard rates for clients who are of Italian heritage? What about if they're short seeing that short people also get on your nerves? What about short people of Italian heritage? Do you even take their calls, you "disgraziato"? We've seen a photo of you and we must say you don't look like George Clooney. You look more like his mentally unstable cousin.

    Signore Russ, we sincerely hope we do not receive another complaint from any Italian-American community in the USA. We advise you to do two things. First, make a generous donation to at least a couple of Italian-American societies. Second; the next time you feel the urge to mock people of Italian heritage, say to yourself, "I should be playing with my dogs". If you cannot adhere to these two simple requests, then we will be forced to fly over and bang you over the head constantly with a mallet yelling "objection" and "overruled" in Sicilian!
    Tanti Saluti,

    Don Peppino
  2. lite-liner

    lite-liner troll enforcement Staff Member

    did I miss something???????????

  3. gman

    gman Senior Member

    did I miss something???????????

    We both did
  4. jiggawhat

    jiggawhat Senior Member

    Man what did this guy do?i normally wouldnt read a long post like that but damn when you start off like that its a must read.
  5. mcgolfer

    mcgolfer Guest

    it's a mafia thing!!!!!
  6. SkeeterRonnie

    SkeeterRonnie Senior Member

    guido is on your door step :(
  7. shooter75

    shooter75 Member

  8. Snagged

    Snagged Senior Member

    The God-father just sent a little note.
  9. feeder

    feeder Senior Member

    I suddenly feel like getting pizza for dinner. Hmm wonder why?
  10. lite-liner

    lite-liner troll enforcement Staff Member

    Russ-- I sure hope you don't own a horse...........:eek: