CALORIES BURNED DURING SEX

Discussion in 'Jokes and Funny Things' started by Snagged, Mar 15, 2008.

  1. Snagged

    Snagged Senior Member

    1,374
    5
    CALORIES BURNED DURING SEX!

    REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
    With her consent 12 Calories
    Without her consent 2,187 Calories

    OPENING HER BRA:
    With both hands 8 Calories
    With one hand 12 Calories
    With your teeth 485 Calories

    PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
    With an erection 6 Calories
    Without an erection 3,315 Calories

    POSITIONS:
    Missionary 12 Calories
    69 lying down 78 Calories
    69 standing up 812 Calories
    Wheelbarrow 216 Calories
    Doggy Style 326 Calories
    Italian chandelier 2,912 Calories

    ORGASMS:
    Real 112 Calories
    Fake 1,315 Calories

    POST ORGASM:
    Lying in bed hugging 18 Calories
    Getting up immediately 36 Calories
    Explaining why you got out of bed immediately 816 Calories

    GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
    If you are:
    20-29 years 36 Calories
    30-39 years 80 Calories
    40-49 years 124 Calories
    50-59 years 1,972 Calories
    60-69 years 7,916 Calories
    70 and over Results are still pending

    DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
    Calmly.. 32 Calories
    In a hurry 98 Calories
    With her father knocking at the door 5,218 Calories
    With your wife knocking at the door 13,521 Calories

    Results may vary!

    THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD
    Right now, as you read this,
    69 Million Americans are having SEX!
    And you're on the computer!!!
     
  2. Bill Fisher

    Bill Fisher Senior Member

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    5
    Right now, as you read this,
    69 Million Americans are having SEX!


    and 68,999,943 began after, and were finished, before you were thru reading it tho

    (of course 56 gals and me are still gettin' after it! :eek: ) :D

    :rolleyes:
     
  3. Bill Fisher

    Bill Fisher Senior Member

    797
    5
    (just not with each other :eek: )