a coupla pomes.......

Discussion in 'Jokes and Funny Things' started by Bill Fisher, Feb 21, 2008.

  1. Bill Fisher

    Bill Fisher Senior Member

    797
    5
    Women's versus Men's poems:


    WOMAN'S POEM
    Before I lay me down to sleep,
    I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
    One who's handsome, smart and strong.
    One who wants to listen all day long,
    One who thinks before he speaks,
    One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
    I pray he's gainfully employed,
    When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
    Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
    Massages my back and begs for more.
    Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
    Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
    I pray that this man will love me to no end,
    And always be my very best friend.


    _______________________________________________
    MAN'S POEM
    I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who
    owns a bar on a golf course, and loves to send me fishing and hunting.
    This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a sh!t. :eek:
     
  2. Bill Fisher

    Bill Fisher Senior Member

    797
    5
    There was a very self-sufficient blind man, who did a lot of traveling alone. He was making his first trip to Texas and happened to be seated next to a Texan on the flight.
    The Texan spent a lot of time telling him how everything is bigger and better in Texas. By the time the blind man had reached his destination, a large resort hotel, he was very excited about being in Texas.
    The long trip had worn him out a little so he decided to stop at the bar for a small soda and a light snack before going up to his room to unpack this clothes.
    When the waitress set down his drink, it was in a huge mug. "Wow, I had heard everything in Texas is bigger," he told her.
    "That's right,"she replied. The blind man ate his snack and finished his drink. After drinking such a large amount, it was only natural his next stop was going to have to be the restroom. He asked the waitress for directions. She told him to turn left at the register and it would be the second door on the right.
    He reached the first door and continued down the hall. A few steps later he stumbled slightly and missed the second door altogether and ended up going through the 3rd door instead. Not realizing he had entered the swimming area he walked forward and immediately fell into the swimming pool.
    Remembering everything he had heard about things being bigger in Texas, as soon as he had his head above water he started shouting "Don't flush! Don't flush!"
    :rolleyes: