Berating About Raw Fish (BARF)

[hatidua]

Originally Posted by Uncle Russ

hatidua: My favorite bumper sticker of all time was:

"IF YOU HATE COPS, NEXT TIME YOU'RE IN TROUBLE, TRY CALLING A HIPPIE."

Russ

There's someone on 1911forum.com who's signature reads something along the lines of "when seconds count, the police are just minutes away"

[Uncle Russ]

hatidua: Oh, oh, you better never come down here to Texas!

MrBill: I suspect you are doing GS an injustice. Although I don't know the man personally, I do possess a tremendous amount of psychological knowledge (my ex-wife was a social worker), and I wonder if it isn't possibles possible that, rather than being an egocentric half-dangerous borderline personality, he might instead be overcompensating for the fact that he is actually shy, withdrawing, and sensitive? Maybe more like Don Knotts than Hulk Hogan?

But to be totally truthful, I have many heroes. And they all fit into one of three categories: First are the folks who are undeniably smarter than I am—now don’t’ get me wrong—I am well aware that this includes damned near eighty percent of the human race—what I'm talking about are smart people who can do things I care about but can’t do very well—for example, Ksong, who can catch fish as well as I can talk about it, or txseadog, who can build rods—you get the picture. The second group are folks who may not be too bright, but are probably stronger than I am—you and gimmedeal would almost certainly fit into that category, since I know you both could definitely out-bench-press me these days and might have even been able to lift about 2/3 of what I could when I was your age. This is the kind of high regard we reserve for survival of the fittest—I like to think of it as Darwinism adapted to tuna fishing--you and Fred might want to think of it as the grudging admiration that modern humans might have had for the Neanderthals.

Gunsmoke—or more to the point--what I imagine Gunsmoke to be—fits into the third category. At the top is John Wayne, and at the bottom are good old boys like Charlie Manson and Benito Mussolini. Gunsmoke fits somewhere between those extremes—from the sound of it, depending primarily on the amount of alcohol he has consumed—As different as they all seem, what these people have in common is that when they decide, (by whatever coincidence of intoxication and dementia,) to do something--then, by-God-and Senator-Dodd—they freakin’ do it! Unless one is burdened by a modicum of good taste and a normally developed conscience, you have to admire that quality in men.

Ordinarily, when I hear or read the words of folks like GS, I dismiss at least 70 percent of it out of hand. But in his case, I suspect damned near all of it is true. And I further suspect that the only stories we haven’t heard are those the contents of which are not barred by the statute of limitations—both civil and criminal. And I would believe a lot of it even if you were not around to affirm the truth of what he says—very much like Mathew, Mark, or Luke, bearing witness to the acts of You-Know-Who.

So yes, Gunsmoke is my hero, but so are folks like you and Fred and Kil. But my greatest fear—what makes me wake up sweating in the night—is that one day I will make a mistake and actually be situated in a place where I end up meeting Gunsmoke. And my worry is not that he will be as I imagine him—but that he won’t. What if he ends up being a skinny, tweedy, little guy about 4 feet 10 with a bald head, green eye shades, adult acne, a high-pitched voice, a runny nose, and holding an umbrella to keep the sun off his sensitive skin.

I would feel so let down.

Russ

[Gunsmoke]

Originally Posted by Uncle Russ

: I suspect you are doing GS an injustice. Although I don't know the man personally, I do possess a tremendous amount of psychological knowledge (my ex-wife was a social worker), and I wonder if it isn't possibles possible that, rather than being an egocentric half-dangerous borderline personality, he might instead be overcompensating for the fact that he is actually shy, withdrawing, and sensitive? Maybe more like Don Knotts than Hulk Hogan?

Russ

Incorrectt.

That's probably why she's your ex wife.

It's hard to judge a book by it's cover when you haven't seen the cover.

I used to try my best to picture a woman I had never met over the phone.
I was wrong most of the time. Some sounded sweet and turned out to be mean as the devil. Some sounded pretty but reality confirmed they were butt ugly and belonged in an convent.

I'll never forget the worst looking blind date I ever experienced. Her father opened the door and sat me down in the living room. He seemed to be a little bit in shock that someone was courting his daughter. He called in his wife and the questions began. The wife was hot. I thought she was coming on to me. I began getting these crazy ideas that a mother/daughter double whammy was in my future.

My thoughts quickly disappeared when the daughter came down the stairs. I almost barfed. She was extremely ugly and very much over weight. I had no choice but the run for the car leaving them with their mouths open.

[Uncle Russ]

Gunsmoke: I know what you mean about not being able to tell what a woman looks like from her voice. I recommend the double whammy highly--provided it is one-at-a-time. I had a buddy once who claimed he got that far and then thought about doing the grandmother as well. Knowing your University affiliation, I won't tell you where he went to school. Suffice it to say that he was an ill man.

Maybe you shouldn't have run off so fast--the mother might have been worth it. Carpe diem as they say.

Russ